soiness

Attacked by hell of bad moods nowadays.. misfortune BANGS on me!
Don't know if there's somebody who purposely make fun of me.. or trying to play a fool on me by taking away my stuffs to test my patience.

1. lost my phone charger, the phone i just bought for less than 2 months, so bought a new one yesterday, wasted rm38, and not sure if it's original but the shopkeeper ensured me that it is. it has two bling bling nokia stickers on it so i assume it should be ok. nobody said they have seen it. i brought it to the hospital the day my father went into the operation room and it vanished ever since.

2. lost my hair wax, which i only used for less than 5 times. placed it at the table and used it everytime before i went out. i never moved it anywhere. it just suddenly have legs and run away? =.= obviously somebody took it. but nobody confessed, so what to do? needed to buy a new one.. threw rm18 again.

3. people enrolled for uni on 21 january, n i enrolled on 12 feb, so i'll get a penalty of rm200 from the school. i was severely sick during 21 january but that shouldn't be the excuse. the file stating the date of enrolment is right on my desktop since november. i wonder why i did not go and open it as i was in front of my laptop almost everyday. i wonder what was i thinking? i almost shit on my pants knewing that i was late for enrolment. i was so astonished with my carelessness. i told my mum i was truly sorry, feeling reli guilty that time, i offered to not get paid for tutoring my sis this month. all other friends have already gotten their invoices, registration summaries and timetables last week but till now i haven't get mine. sch is starting on next monday and now it's already thursday. i've got nothing still. luckily my friend purposely went to school and asked for me yesterday.. the student admins said they were still working on it and asked me to wait at home. i panicked on the 24th because they said we should contact them immediately if we haven't receive those invoices n stuffs in our email on the 23th. the whole days of 24th and 25th were spent on calling the uni's registration unit. i even called all the officers' extensions. and guess what? not even one phone call was picked up. i think in total i called more than 100 times. if a call costs rm0.20, then i spent rm20 calling nobody, coz it got into the auto answer operator everytime. it's really stupid and it should never happen again.. time n money wasted.. plus worries n stress caused by my own negligence.

I almost lost my temper a few times.. almost turned into a violent beast.. luckily my fury did not offend anyone, only hurt my own body a little bit, coz anger is very bad for our body :(

In total, wasted almost rm300 to buy lessons through series of unfortunate events and that's a lot for me.

1. Do not put things just anywhere and keep your eye on your own belongings.
2. Be cautious of the enrolment date.

Last week, my elder bro came back for dinner and he said i'm like a uncle who just passed away last month due to brain shrinkage. he said i tend to keep all the discomfort and affliction inside n doesn't want to speak them out. it's not like that! i wish i could express what i felt to my mum but i think, to her, that would be complaining and she would sympathize me and maybe give me less works, switching all the chores back to herself again? to me, speaking out is indirectly asking her to give me less works and give herself more, which is unreasonable speaking of being filial. my bro said my attitude may cause me to die like my uncle next time, in a joking tone. But my father was there and he took it so seriously n asked my bro to apologize to me after scolding him. My father said I am mature though cause i know what to say at the right time. I SUFFERED TO CONTROL OK? is it good to control or just let it out? However, I didn't feel offended by what my bro said n I told him what he said is actually in my prediction. LOL.

Actually, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. My bro is the type who expresses his annoyance aggresively and almost instantly when he felt a little pressure on him while i'm completely the other way round coz I tend to breath deep and hold the offensive words down my throat. My bro said he should learn from me but I said NO, it's not good cause it doesn't make me feel happy.

Being too patient causes us to keep all the explosives inside which is bad for health.
Being too assertive causes us to hurt others with the explosives when we spit them out.

Therefore, I think the best is to reach a balanced state between the two extremity and i'm trying to adjust myself towards it.